its been really hard watching all the kids get ready for school. i remember how much you wanted to be a big boy and go to school with lexi, it takes all i have to hold my tears in so no one can see them. today on my way to work i went by what would have been your bus stop in you had still been going to daycare while mommy and nana worked. just to sit a minute and picture your daycare worker getting you on the bus or them taking you to school. you would be 5 now & having the time of your life making new friends and learning new things in school. i can hear your voice in my head telling me you want to ride the school bus.
i love you more bubba
i look at the messages ppl write about you. we all love you and miss you so much. yesterday at the walmart i was looking around at the school supplies and thinking about what i would be getting you . this would have been your first year in school and it hurts so much. i can still hear you telling me when i' a big boy i'm gonna ride the school bus with lexi. you are such a smart little boy and i know you would have so much fun with other kids at school. i love you more bubba and more and more. you forever have nana's heart . last weekend at lexi's party it was really hard for me not having you there chasing her around. i could picture you helping your little sister zoie learn to skate and remembering that you would always call zoie your baby. you loved her very much. i can remember one day watching zoie when she was just a baby and you telling me next time we better let her stay with mommy cuz she was crying so much and you couldnt hear the tv. your birthday is thursday and its going to be a hard day for all your family, we all love and miss you so much. i've been watchng video's of you riding your bike out back here and remembering your last birthday here. all you wanted was to open the presents, go play and play. you are so funny and cute. as i sit here and type this i can remeber you comng in and wanting in my lab so you could type on my computer to. i miss you bubba
today your papa & i were at the store looking around at the summer things and i remembered getting you your pool with slide on it and how much you loved playing outside in the water. the time we went to uncle jamies house and all the kids got in the big pool, but not you. you were just as happy to play in the little pool next to it . you looked so cute. i miss you so much and there is never a minute that goes bye that i dont think of you. everything around me reminds me of something we did together or something you would say or do. sometimes i stop and look at the daycare you attended with your friends, school buses remind me of the times when you would ask will i be big soon to ride the bus with lexi. i love you bubba & not fair to spend me life here without you, just know how much we miss you
i love you nana
tomorrow is my birthday and all i want is for your little arms around my neck. i miss you telling me happy birthday and asking me if i was getting a birthday party tooo. there are so many things that will always remind me of you. everyday you are on my mind and always in my heart. its hard coming home still and not being able to stop at daycare and pick you up. when i pull into the drive i start thinking about you told me that your a big boy now and you would go open the gates so we could pull in and then you would climb back in the car or truck with me and sit next to me and pretend to drive as we would pull in . bubba you are such a big important part of my life and i miss you soooooo much. tomorrow i will go get a birthday balloon just for you & me . i love you
